Self-Released or Commercially Unreleased 2001 1. Method 1 – Beheading 2. Method 2 – Smashing The Skull 3. Method 3 – Stabbing 4. Method 4 – Bullet To The Head 5. Method 5 – Burning Sahil a.k.a. The Demonstealer does it again. In his drive to play all forms of metal possible, The Demonstealer, somewhere in his journey, encountered brutal Death Metal. I’m still awaiting the follow up to his primary band’s (Demonic Resurrection, gothic metal) disappointing yet subtly promising debut release. It shall serve as amusement if nothing else, hopefully. In the meanwhile, I’ve been digging my claws into something I find a lot more appealing coming from the Sahil camp – Reptilian Death. I have enjoyed a few of their live shows and demo recordings, including this one, which features the Demonstealer going absolutely solo, blasting with an almost conceptual, 11 minute, death metal recording. Reptilian Death, in this solo recording as well as collective efforts, sound like simple old-school death metal soaked in the spirit Indian metal requires these days. For these reasons, I support this band wholeheartedly. Let me get through the ‘concept’ part of 5 Easy Ways To Murder Someone. As the title suggests, this is Sahil taking up the role of a teacher instructing a student on the easier methods to murder people. Simplistic as this may sound, The Demonstealer does tell a tale. The aim is to kill someone using an easy method, without making a goddamn mess of the living room floor or the bed! And this is attained using Method 5, which is burning. This little detail lends complexity to an otherwise simple concept (I’m kidding, fools!). Anyway, I plead with everyone to try these methods in the comfort of their homes! Each “method” starts of with an instructional speech by the teacher (Sahil) and ends with the same teacher complaining about the mess. And at the end of 11 minutes, the teacher is killed by the student. This is rather funny, and fucking hilarious under the influence of marijuana. The guitars, bass and vocals are all performed by Sahil, but since this was recorded at Demonic Studios (Sahil’s bedroom!) those dreaded Frooty Loops (or whatever) are used instead of real drums. The presence of computerized programmed drums diminishes the value of this recording, but not as much as it did on Demonic Resurrection’s Demonstealer. The drums remain a fast blast-beat galore, so it doesn’t make that much of a difference, especially since this is only an 11 minute recording. The music, as I mentioned, is principally simple death metal made humorous due to the topic in hand. Unfortunately, there isn’t much to say about this little explosion. I do enjoy it to an extent, and play it infrequently. However, there is nothing special, new or groundbreaking about this, and the reason I’m reviewing this is because it has chunks of spirit and deserves a place in the Indian metal scene. As Sahil himself told me, this recording was done without any solid seriousness in mind. The guitar riffage on Beheading is enjoyable and could have been better if those stupid pinch harmonics weren’t used. I’m not a fan of Sahil’s growling and this song doesn’t change my mind. Smashing The Skull is a notch better, with deeper and more appetizing growls and excellent riffing. The ending screams remind me Mille Petrozza of Kreator screaming out choruses on Endless Pain. Stabbing and Burning are definitely the most memorable tracks here. “Stabbing” has the funniest intro, with Sahil spouting some Marathi/Hindi abuse towards the end. The riffing is closed in and has a more modern sound; it would actually sound “brutal” if he had used a better guitar tone. The song manages to be very entertaining as Sahil screeches like woman getting chased in the rain by a madman with a knife (typical Indian movie) – “Bachao! Bachao! Koi hai kya?!” (Help! Help! Is anyone there?!) – ending with a hilarious “BEALCH!” Unfortunately for Sahil, the “son of a bitch” made a mess on the living room floor again! “Burning” has yet another funny intro, where Sahil sounds like KP of Indian death metallers Mindsnare (I don’t care if this is intentional or not!). You’d have to listen to this to know what I mean, but people who’ve heard KP speak as well as this song will know what I’m talking about! Musically, this is also the most brutal and focused song; groove-death riffing, deep growls and lots of fills and breaks. The intro to Bullet To The Head has Sahil taking up a wannabe mobster tone, and the music itself doesn’t gel together. The main problem is with the average vocals that don’t match the average blast-beat infected riffing, both in timing and aesthetically. The song is only 2 minutes long, and I really don’t have to complain here! “Euh! Euh! Euh! You bastard you poisoned me, your own teacher! Euh! Euh Euh!” This is how this 11 minute ditty ends. The lyrics are mindless, fun one-liners but a lot better that Sahil’s pseudo-sad-romance crap on Demonic Resurrection. Reptilian Death does not play these songs live, as Sahil plays drums and he can’t manage that and growling at the same time. This is quite ill-fated because I really want to hear this stuff, especially the intros in a live setting. I think these songs are still downloadable on mp3.com so you can go ahead and download them, just to support a struggling metal musician, if not for the music or the fun. And please, don’t make a fucking mess! (3/5)